Funny Signs

 

On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon:  Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

 

On a Septic Tank Truck sign:  "We're #1 in the #2 business."

 

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

 

At a Proctologist's door: "To expedite your visit please back in."

 

On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."

 

On a Plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.."

 

Pizza Shop Slogan:  "7 days without pizza makes one weak."

 

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:  "Invite us to your next blowout."

 

On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:  "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"

 

At a Towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

 

On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."

 

In a Nonsmoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

 

On a Maternity Room door:  "Push. Push. Push."

 

At an Optometrist's Office:  "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

 

On a Taxidermist's window:  "We really know our stuff."

 

In a Podiatrist's office:  "Time wounds all heels."

 

On a Fence:  "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."

 

At a Car Dealership:  "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

 

Outside a Muffler Shop:  "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

 

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:  "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

 

At the Electric Company:  "We would be delighted if you send in your payment.  However, if you don't, you will be."

 

In a Restaurant window:  "Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."

 

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:  "Drive carefully. We'll wait."

 

At a Propane Filling Station:  "Thank heaven for little grills."

 

And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop:  "Best place in town to take a leak."