Funny Exchanges in Court
These
are from a book called "Disorder in the Court", and are things people
actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court
reporters - which had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were
actually taking place.
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
Q: What gear were you in at the
moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it
affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect
your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an
example of something that you've forgotten?
Q: How old is your son, the one
living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I
can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
Q: What was the first thing your
husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I,
Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that
when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next
morning?
Q: The youngest son, the
twenty-year old, how old is he?
Q: Were you present when your
picture was taken?
Q: So the date of conception (of
the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that
time?
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
Q: How was your first marriage
terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it
terminated?
Q: Can you describe the
individual?
A: He was about medium height and
had a beard.
Q: Was this a male or a female?
Q: Is your appearance here this
morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I
go to work.
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have
you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed
on dead people.
Q: All your responses must be
oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
Q: Do you recall the time that you
examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around
Q: And Mr. Dennington
was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table
wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
Q: Are you qualified to give a
urine sample?
Q: Doctor, before you performed
the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood
pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that
the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting
on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have
still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he
could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.